From January 30, 2008
In a Serious Mood Tonight
I have been a Christian for many years, since I was a teenager. The last few years, though, I have really slipped in one area (others too, but big-time here), and that is reading my Bible. I would look verses up all the time, but I wasn't devoting time to really studying the Word. It really upset me that I could find time for so many other things, but I did not take the time to read the Bible. Almost seven months ago I decided that I need to make that effort. Am I going about it the right way? Not according to some, and they may be right. But I am doing it in a way that makes sense to me. While I am still reading the New Testament (in a casual way, and looking up verses to help with situations), I decided that I didn't know enough background information. How can I understand some of what Jesus was talking about if I don’t know more of the Old Testament?
I have been pretty good about reading every morning. I’ll admit I don’t usually read on the weekends, but I need to change that. I've gotten off track, so to get back to how I am choosing to read, I decided to start at the beginning and read straight through. I have started to do that before, many years ago, and I didn't make it very far. I didn't have the same focus then though. Back then I was just reading to get through it, but now I am really paying attention to what I am reading. Because I am focused and am reading with a purpose, I am really enjoying reading the Old Testament. I’m not going to lie, there are some parts that are as boring as all get out, but the history is amazing. I have read enough and heard enough in the past to know a lot of some parts and at least the bare bones of the rest, but I had never delved so deeply into it. I’m so glad I chose to do it this way.
I used to read pretty fast, and I don’t anymore. That doesn't bother me. I’m not trying to get through the Bible in one year. My goal is to really get into the Word and to gain a deeper understanding of God’s plan for me. I have always been a daydreamer, and I have a hard time keeping my mind on some things for very long. I am doing two things to help with that problem. The first thing is, I always pray for understanding and focus before I start reading each day. Sometimes I have to stop, take a breath, and say a quick “refresher” prayer if I find my mind wandering. The other thing I am doing is reading out loud. I read years ago that if you see it and hear it at the same time, what you read will stay with you longer. I know that is the only way I was able to get through some of my college textbooks!
I am about halfway through Nehemiah right now. I just finished a long stretch of name after name after name sections, and it is good to be on to more interesting things now.
What I took away from my reading today: It is all too often easier to value other peoples’ opinions above God’s opinion. We (yeah, I am definitely a big part of that we) are sometimes so concerned about looking stupid, undignified, silly, “whatever,” to other people that we forget that their opinions about us don’t matter at all in the scheme of things. So it is my prayer that I will always trust in God above all others. I know that if trust in Him, things will work out for the best.
From January 31, 2008
Frustrated by Stupidity/Being Judgmental
There is an argument going on at a site I belong to. I’m not going to get into what the argument is about, but it is about something a teen did wrong at school and was punished for. The parent wanted to know if the other members thought the punishment fit the wrongdoing.
It started out okay, with people offering their opinions about the punishment. Several posts later, however, things went nuts. They started focusing on the wrongdoing itself (okay, it was swearing), and tempers started to flair, since some saw nothing wrong with swearing at all, some saw nothing wrong with swearing but thought kids shouldn't do it around their teachers and some adults, and some were very opposed to swearing.
It was all kind of silly in my opinion, but the part that really drove me nuts, the part that leaves me frustrated with people, is when people started saying things like, “It’s not the worst thing she could have done,” and “There are a lot of things worse than swearing.” Why am I frustrated? Because it doesn't matter that there are worse things than swearing. Yes, there are worse things. There are things that aren't as bad. That was not the point of the whole question to begin with.
Where am I going with this, you might be wondering. I’m thinking about the way people think about sin, in general. People love to feel good about themselves, even when they are sinning, by comparing their sin to that of others. We think that because all we did was tell a “little white lie” or cheat on our taxes and such, it is okay because there are worse sins. We love to look to people like Charles Manson when thinking about our sins because that makes us feel better about what we did. But we are comparing ourselves and our sins to the wrong example. We are only supposed to compare ourselves and our sins to Jesus. And we don’t compare at all.
There are so many directions I could go with this right now. It started out with frustration about a particular situation, but it is something that really affects our lives more than we know. Because when we compare our sins to those of others, we are being judgmental. And it is not our job to judge. We don’t have to like or condone the sins of others, but it is not our job to judge them for their sins. God can do a pretty good job of it all by Himself. I kind of like having the burden of judging others off of me. It leaves me free to worry about my own sins and asking forgiveness for them. 
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